Some moments that have made me laugh lately.
To set the scene: Mike is currently house-sitting for friends of ours in Vientiane who own a very affectionate cat that is often around begging to be petted when I’m on Skype with Mike. I’m in my bedroom dialing Mike. Dominic is playing on the floor.
Me: “Dominic! Look who’s on Skype!! It’s Daddy!!”
Dominic (runs over and climbs into my lap. He looks delighted … and then confused): “Cat?”
Mike: “Hi Dominic!!!”
Me: “It’s Daddy, do you want to say hello to Daddy??”
Dominic (completely ignoring Mike): “Cat? Cat?”
Mike (sighing and standing up): “Nice to know where I stand. OK, OK. I’ll go and get the cat.”
To set the scene: Dominic and I are on the couch watching PlaySchool. We’ve reached the part of the show where the presenters open one of four windows (the round one, the square one, the diamond one, or the arched one). Today, they open the diamond window.
Dominic bursts into noisy tears. Five minutes and much hysterical toddler wailing later I figure out that … he wanted them to open the round window.
To set the scene: I’m at the kitchen table. Mum walks in after a shopping expedition and sets down her bags.
Mum: “I bought you a birthday present to give to me.”
Me: “This might surprise you, but I actually already have a birthday present in mind to get you.”
Mum: “You’re right, it does surprise me.”
To set the scene: Talking to Mike, on Skype.
Mike: “How are you?”
Me: “Grumpy. I’m grumpy with everyone here. And I’m grumpy with you for not being here so I can be even more grumpy with you in person.”
Mike (laughing): “I miss you. Most of the time, anyway. If I were there I’d put you in the bedroom all by yourself and post a sign on the door that said ‘Warning. Do not feed the bear’.”
Me: “That sounds really good, actually.
To set the scene: I’m in the kitchen. Dominic’s around the corner in the playroom. Alone. All is very quiet, until …
Dominic: “No no NO!”
Me: “Dominic? What are you doing??”
Dominic (even more loudly and sternly): “NO NO NO!!!”
When I walk around the corner I see him doing something he definitely knows is a “no no no” – drawing on the walls with a crayon.
To set the scene: 4:45am the shortest person in the household decided he was definitely up for the day. 5:15am the most pregnant person in the household handed the little man off to his grandfather and tried to go back to bed. Except … when I closed my bedroom door a mouse almost ran over my foot. And then … I saw another mouse scurrying around. At 6am I had the following conversation with my mother.
Mum: “Please don’t put anything about mice on facebook”
Me: “Too late.”
Mum: “Filter fail.”
Me: “What?? It’s not like having mice in the house once in a blue moon is a moral failing. You live in the country. I’m just glad it’s not brown snakes.”
Mum: “Still …”
To set the scene: Talking to Mike on Skype
Mike: “How are you?”
Me: “SO uncomfortable. If someone told me I could have this baby tonight after two hours of labour but that you’d miss the whole thing, I’d so take that deal.”
Mike: “So that’s what I’m worth then, two hours of labour.”
Me: “Not exactly. I just mean that if it’s going to be longer than two hours I want you there suffering with … I mean sharing in the whole, long, joyous event.”
