When I told Marianne I’d write a post about the courage to say yes, I had it all planned out.
I was going to start the piece by referencing saying “no.” There would be a brief anecdote about how my two-year-old’s main mission in life seems to be finding new and creative ways to provoke me into using that very word. Then I’d talk about how my inbox is full of people telling me to “Say No, No, No All The Way To Success,” and how my new book, From Stranger To Lover, looks at how the dynamics of meeting someone online conspire to lower our inhibitions, encourage casual intimacy, and facilitates poor boundaries in a new relationship. (In other words, when we’re online dating or in a new long distance relationship, many of us don’t say “no” enough.)
Saying no, I had planned to argue, is about keeping people and distractions at a safe distance. Saying yes, on the other hand, is about letting people get close enough. It’s about risking vulnerability and letting them see the real you – complete with pain and struggles – despite any fears you might have that they won’t like what they see. It’s about being willing to ask for help when you need it. And for many people, especially the go-getter crowd, I reckon it often takes more courage to say yes than to say no.
As far as essay structures went, my plan wasn’t bad. There was just one problem …the more I tried to actually write the piece, the more I became convicted that saying yes to letting people get close enough isn’t a core challenge in my life right now …jump on over to Marianne Elliott’s blog to continue reading this post.
Also, check out some of the other Courageous Company posts in this series.
I particularly liked Dani Shapiro‘s post on courage and writing.
Where do you need courage in your life right now?
